Graduation Day

It’s my graduation day tomorrow for completing the Master of Commercial Law at Monash University, a degree that caters to graduates in disciplines other than law. Well, I must admit that I do have a few degrees in other disciplines – an undergraduate degree in Development Communication, a Master’s degree in Communications Research and an MBA. After the MBA I could have gone to complete a PhD, however there was something about studying law that intrigued me.

It took me about three years to complete this degree on a part-time basis. All of my Postgrad degree’s I did take as part-time as I can never justify to myself doing it full time. I like the idea of making money first by having a full time job, then the study comes in as an ‘extra’ thing to do that will satisfy my need for intellectual stimulation. But it was a lot of hard work. I study at night and during the weekends, after I have done the house chores. Torture it was – especially during exams with days of having a couple of hours of sleep was sanctity. And I do think this was also a major cause for a relationship breakdown. I barely had time for myself, let alone focus on others needs.

Thinking about it now on the reasons why I did the Law degree – I think my initial reaction then was that the workplace, at that time, was not engaging enough for me that I have lost interest in even learning new things and I needed some robust and intellectual discussion with depth – and I can’t find anyone in the workplace to have that discussion. Also I thought that perhaps I can prove to some Aussies (I have migrated here to Australia from Southeast Asia) that I can actually get into one of the best law schools in Melbourne and be very good at it. I still remember I was in a work meeting and someone asked how I got into Law school – to which I answered “I just applied. It was easy for me though – academically and experience wise – they wanted me in the program. Probably with you it will be hard!” or something to that effect.

I often dismiss the fact that I was studying law and racking up high distinctions, but there are situations whereby I shamelessly slapped that line to a few condescending individuals at work and at times socially when I’m in a group of ego-driven people. What a blissful experience when I get to say that.

Why I love school is that it is a great place to get validation. I get to be assessed whether I am good at understanding something or I totally suck! And there is no need to be very good at sucking up or brown-nosing and be buddy with someone totally abhorrent. To me that is harder work.

This degree I really would like to dedicate to PG. Thank you for allowing me to pursue this and for keeping up with everything.

Healthy Moi

Okay. So now I decided to write about my journey to health and well-being as my family, friends and work colleagues now wonder what I have done to get to this. The most absurd comments by far? that  I have done a few cosmetic procedures, that I am doing some kind of a boot camp everyday, that I’m taking a secret potion – a very expensive one, that I’m not eating at all, or I’m bulimic. Although I must say I have thought of those at some point. But it is really ridiculous.

Quite frankly, even I am unsure which helped me on my way to better health. All I know is it was a holistic approach – in that I looked at it not just from a physical and physiological point of view but I went through a ‘healing’ process in my emotional and psychological state. This process has taken me about 6 months – I mean physically the results were apparent after 3 months but I find that I kept losing more weight every week. I must share though that my pre-paving in terms of thought/belief has been going on in the last 3 years and I believe that this was key. (To those of you who believe in the mind/body connection you will appreciate this. I am more than happy to share to you books/CDs/DVDs I have read and followed through if you want – just email me.)

But for the sake of keeping things simple I will share with you what I did in the first 3 months and that is I went through a DETOX program, which I devised according to my needs with help from a Naturopath who prescribed me treatment for my allergies.

• Colonics – I had 6 treatments done – so once every forthnight
• Gave up SUGAR – no lollies/candies, cakes and biscuits (although occasionally I will have a piece but limit it to 2 a week)
• Gave up BREAD – all kinds (but same as sugar I have a piece or 2 in a week)
• Gave up COFFEE – I now drink organic coffee

And that is all the main things that I introduced into my regime.

I NEVER exercise – and PG can attests to this. The only exercise I do is walk the dogs twice a week (during weekends) for an hour and 15 minutes each day.

P.S. There are other things that I do on a daily basis which has been part of my regime for a while now and I just kept doing that together with the above detox. I think those helped to but will share that in a different blog entry.

For now – love & peace to all!

The most difficult people in the world are the least talented ones

I got this statement from an article in the Friday AFR magazine sometime last year and it’s a statement made by a guy who works in the art/fashion industry. I barely remember who he works with but the magazine was focusing on the high-end products and the way they are branding it. It featured insights from these creative talents and in the article he was referring to the kind of people he works with in the industry and he said that in his profession he encounters all sorts of people and said that “the most difficult in the world are the least talented ones”.

Indeed. That applies to any workplace I think. I work in a private company listed in the Australian Stock Exchange. This energy company, although private, has a bit of a government flavour in it mainly because of the remaining culture of bureaucracy subscribed to by remnants of the old companies acquired through the years. There are definitely a lot of talented people in it; however, like most organisations it is littered with the “difficult” ones (translate to least talented ones). Surely each one has its own concept of what difficult is but in my books they consists of the following people:

• Drama Queens/Kings – these are the ones who make a big drama and fuss around the tiniest, little things in the world – like everything is frickin’ hard! You always hear them whinge, sigh, or make comments about anything each time they get an email or phone call. To them, everyone is being difficult and giving them a hard time. A simple email will end up a big deal and escalated to the powers-that-be in the company. They won’t move on to the next task unless they create a saga out of it. Definitely has no talent because if they were, work should just flow easy and any concerns will be dealt with appropriately with less fuss.
• Attention Seekers – Perhaps share the same qualities as the Drama Queens but these are the type who want to be ‘recognised’ for all the small things they do (they want this recognition because any work they have done seems like a lot to them and they expect to be recognised for that effort – oh please!!!). These are also the type who seek to be introduced to the powers-that-be at every opportunity they have – even to the point of giving hallow and irrelevant comments but they do it for the sake of being heard – just that, to be heard. They know they have less talent so they think of ways to be noticed and associate being noticed to being recognised because of their talent. YEAH. Whatever. They remind me of 5-year old kids who seek attention. The best way to deal with this type is to ignore the behaviour because eventually they will stop. (Me hopes…)
• Social Climbers – They are not difficult per se but they can be difficult to get rid out of your social system if you allow them leech onto you. I have been duped by a few thinking they are genuinely interested with my friendship but turns out all they want is the association with me and my contacts. Good thing I have been trained on how to be indifferent.
• Loud People – Some are really lovely people but I just can’t stand loud people. They are the ones you hear talk with almost like a microphone attached to their sleeves. These people tend to talk especially when in a packed lift – it’s almost certain that they want everyone to know what they want to say.

I may have to put a disclaimer here that all information provided here represent my own and not those of my employer. In addition, this is how I feel now and could change anytime – tomorrow I may have a different perspective. And I like this disclaimer: “Just in case. If I say something stupid in the future, it’s better to be able to point out that the stupidity is mine, and mine alone. My stupidity! You can’t have it!

Go with the flow… but take it slow…

Your horoscope for October 21, 2010 -  You will have a day of profound reflection, Isay. While you may be tempted to look back and think about how far you have come in the last months, your time would be better spent thinking about what the future has in store for you. You have entered a period of rethinking both your identity and your objectives. These are not small changes. You will need every ounce of energy at your disposal to make it through this time of transition.

I love my horoscope today and I think it sums really well what I have been going through in the last month  – a period of rethinking my identity and my objectives. In December 2009 I knew then that my focus for 2010 is to lie low and just operate under the radar. I wanted to rest for a while – rest from the hassle of busyness in all aspects of life. I really just wanted to support people around me and let them be in the spotlight. The operative word was ‘to rest’. But then circumstance change and I had to deal with it. It’s almost like the universe is telling me – it’s so not me to just rest. Hence the last two quarters of the year were assiduous – just the opposite of my set intention!

Believing in the power of a balanced mind/self, I think that October has been a month of introspection. Apart from I have been very busy reviewing for my exams, my time is interspersed with thinking deep thoughts about life in general. Sometimes I amaze myself with my ability to just sit for an hour just thinking and using this time for deliberate creation.

This October I felt the need to regroup – to re-organise my thoughts for renewed effort. There were things I planned/said/offered in the past that suddenly prompted me to re-think again whether that make sense. I asked myself “Is that really what I want? Is that my heart’s desire?” Well, it seems like a great idea at that time! I’m not saying that I will renege from my commitments, I suppose I just wanted comfort that my actions are in alignment with my source.

This is when I have to remind myself to go with the flow but to take it slow. Take the time to rethink seriously – after all these are not small changes. This transition becomes more critical as I want to deliberately create things in my life that will give me my heart’s desire. Going with the flow sometimes can be hard because of the need to have control of things. But then again, the more I attempt to control things the more restraint I create and hence resistance. This leads to more pain and manifests in many different ways – oftentimes very awkward and uncomfortable. I suppose I have to go with the flow having faith that ‘all will be well’.

In terms of taking it slow – this is often not my quality. I acknowledge that I am a very abrupt person, quick to judge and make decision. Nevertheless, I know that there are certain things in life that often require ‘taking it slow’. The premise being that taking it slow helps me to appreciate the moment – the power of now. Everything becomes so instant in life that I often fail to appreciate the details. If only I start taking things slow. So the other day whilst spending time with PG and the pets at home I decided that during break time (I was meant to study the whole day) I will go out to the garden and appreciate nature. PG has done wonderful things in the garden and it is indeed magnificent. Suddenly the courtyard outside the office/library looked like a different place altogether – the fish pond, the sun lounger, the bamboo trees – all tie the place and make it a perfect sanctuary.

A few days more until end of October and this period of transition is indeed a welcoming phase to regroup.

Spring Cleaning 2010

This is probably the best time to write on spring cleaning. It is meant to be spring, but living in Melbourne there’s no guarantee of that. Go figure! I still feel very wintery – heating and electric blankets are on every night, still wear winter coats, opaque tights. Given the unpredictable mood of Melbourne’s weather I decided to start spring cleaning anyhow.

Spring clean – everything. And I mean that in all aspects of my life. I think I started spring cleaning people out of my life second quarter of this year. It was hard as things were getting familiar, but then there are just relationships and acquaintances that does not work. No matter how hard you try, it will never fit. And the longer you hang on to it the more it becomes toxic. So had to let go and the experience is more cathartic.

At home, PG has been reminding me of my ‘mess’ and it’s getting very irritating already. So I promised I will get into it once I’m done with my law school assignments. That done a few weeks ago I now have to face the mountain of ‘stuff’ in my French room and the guest room. I’ve been meaning to go through my clothes, shoes, bags and other accessories and have an audit. I have done this three months ago and those things I wanted to get rid of I just dumped it in the rooms upstairs. I wanted to take pictures of the ‘stuff’ but decided – nah. It is just too embarrassing to show the amount of stuff I have collected and now don’t want anymore.

Whilst divvying up the goods between what should go the Philippines and to the US, I decided to count the items. Lo and behold…

• 28 pairs of trousers, jeans
• 14 skirts
• 147 shirts!!!
• 16 handbags
• 8 pairs of shoes (I had to throw those uncomfortable and stiletto type as I know my sisters-in-law will never wear those)
• 20 Make up vanity bags – those you get as gift with purchase & those I have collected from business class travels
• Lots of Accessories such as clips, chokers, rings, bracelets, necklaces – the Diva/Target type – which I think my niece will enjoy. I kept a few for my Friday wear.
• Old magazines – my sister in law in the Philippines loves my magazines so I’m sending all the back issues of InStyle, Bazaar, Madison, ShoptTilYouDrop, Grazia (but I’m keeping the Vogue & Oprah!)
• Books
• Lots of PG’s clothes – still in mint condition shirts & trousers – but does not fit anymore
• Bed linens & towels – old ones that does not match with any of my future interior décor plans

My beautiful dining room is now filled with all these stuff- and I’m desperate for it to be out of my house. I find that it is so much easier to send things to the Philippines as we have remittance companies here in Melbourne. It was hard looking for a company that will ship to America. I could send it by air but the cost is just too much. So had to talk to my kuya and tell him that I can only send the important bits – accessories for my niece! I think my niece in the US is going to grow like moi – which I like because then she can easily inherit all my goodies.

 The boxes are all packed and ready to go now and I’m feeling great already. PG kept reminding me that it is not an excuse to purchase new things. Of course not! But hey – enough to get me started with a new wish list – a luxury wish list.

A Cathartic Experience

A recent interaction has left me in a very sad state. The situation came to a point of becoming a zero-sum game – where a participant’s gain equals the loss of the other participant. Clearly, if i were to make a parallel of this experience with an options and futures market – the other person makes money on an options or future contract that i sold to that person. My life lesson here is: next time, be smarter in the options/futures market or better yet stick with the stock market which is far from a zero-sum game. After all, substantial wealth is created in stocks. Of course the risks will always be there – but since when investments are risks-free?

The bad news is it will take some time for this experience to go away as like all life defining moments we go through some steps of denial, anger, depression, and acceptance. Not necessarily in that order – but the elements will be there. A lot of times I wish that they manifest all at the same time so I only have to deal with it once. Yeah. Nice try Isay.

The good news is at the end of this episode, it’s almost like a cathartic experience. There is an element of cleansing because of the process of purging a number of emotional tensions and unconscious conflicts. For the purposes of not incriminating myself to any incident, I would spare you of the details. Suffice to say, it was not an easy ride but at least it landed or it got into it’s apt destination. There is a feeling of relief knowing things were laid out and settled. Time to rest. But only for a while – as life, I believe, is meant to be explored…

Mad (by Ne-Yo)

Listening to music has been one of my best therapies. Depending on my mood that I want to create or pacify, I aim to find that song that describes my current state. I have lots of YouTube favourites that I just flicked through and listen to and watch…

Mad by Ne-Yo. This is a song I got introduced to when I was in Manila early this year. JB and I watched this dude perform this song at The Library and he was so great. His magnifique interpretation of this song got me very curios. JB has also got a collection of acoustic CDs and this song is included in 3 of the albums – which we feasted listening to as we drove from Manila to Isabela. This has since my song when I’m mad – at something or someone.

The lyrics is actually very simple – it talks about a couple mad at each other – for nothing! But the melody is amasing. It gets me – and picks me up. It’s also a great jazz dance song. Enjoy the video. For the official video, visit Ne-Yo’s site. (If you find an acoustic version – let me know.)

Happy new year to Isay!

Photo from my MacBook

I know I’m so late for the Western new year and still early for the Chinese new year… I’m actually just planning to write anything right now on my blog as I can see that it hasn’t been updated for ages. Which means that I have been really busy – that I don’t have the time to update it. However, it doesn’t mean that I’m not busy now – this time, it’s more to have a break from doing school assignments. Law school is painful!!! It was exciting in the class during lectures and discussion as I get to participate and share my opinions, but writing a very long research paper – sometimes on the driest subject matter – is not fun at all. Although I must say, I’m learning so much. See – I’m just rumbling…

It’s Sunday wee hours and I’m supposed to be on my bed by now. But I’m sure I’d be kicking myself if I don’t continue with the writing… I can hear next door tv is still on and I’m sure PG is already asleep, with Louis and Phoebe. I always say, tv is PG’s sleeping pill. Jamie & Pepper are with me – albeit both napping. I see them sleep and I want to join them already.

Back to the blog – I will not ever promise to keep my blog updated. As – who knows – when I’ll have time to do it. Although having said that, I have been updating my facebook every hour since Saturday morning. It’s my therapy. That’s sad. I feel sad having said that. Oh – I’m sure tomorrow it will be different.